Little Signs of Progression
Maybe I focus on it too much but since the diagnosis a year ago, I’ve wanted to be able to calculate how fast the dementia is progressing. Part of it is for planning purposes – what is the next move? But another part is pure lack of faith. God’s got this – his timing is perfect, so why do I want to edge God out of the process by timing it all?
You think “God’s timing is perfect” is one of those phrases that people use and hope it’s true, but they don’t entirely believe it. Hope it – sure, trust it – well, (like me) maybe not as much as hope.
But, I’ll show you how God’s timing has been extraordinary for me just in the past few years. Check this out:
1. Dad dies on March 30, 2011.
2. Fisher closes in June 2012, before violence.
3. Bought Maine house in August 2012 because of Dad.
4. Sydney dies in August 2014.
5. Dementia diagnosis in October 2014.
6. Maine as the place to get healthy in March 2015.
The sequence of the above, if twisted in any way, causes vastly different consequences. I am thankful that God ordered it that way. But, back to the little signs:
1. How about coming downstairs in the morning and the place looking as if someone had a party the night before – cabinet door open and stuff not put away. Last night was me, but the “sunsetting” me – a dementia term for low level functioning in the evening.
2. Filling up the coffee pot twice within 30 seconds with no memory of the first fill-up.
3. A guy at the men’s Bible study group making a simple play on words and me wondering for a week what in the world he was talking about.